Lew Watts
Mr. Bill
Oh no, someone’s out there in the darkness! I can hear him in the woods, oh no! And here I am in just my shorts, oh no! Where is Spot when I need him?—oh, no, he’s dead again! But I had to pee, oh no, and now it’s running down my leg! Oh no, the tent flap is stuck, and now I won’t be able to get back inside where I’ll be safe and no one can hurt me! There’s Hands on my shoulder, oh no! Oh, it’s you. It’s only you, Sluggo. Nothing to worry about, then. Ohhh noooooo. . .
after the storm. . . the camp leader's fingers sticky with pine
Note: “The Mr. Bill Show” debuted during the first season of the NBC series Saturday Night Live, when the show sent out a request for home movies. Click here to see an episode.
About the Author
Lew Watts is the haibun co-editor of Frogpond and the author of Tick-Tock (Snapshot Press, 2019), a haibun collection that received an Honorable Mention in the Haiku Society of America’s 2020 Merit Book Awards. His publications include the novel Marcel Malone and the poetry collection Lessons for Tangueros. He lives in Chicago.
Lew, this haibun brings me back years. It’s a gas. Why did we love the Mr. Bill show? Maybe, in part, it was so simple, and such a counter to sickly sweet children’s shows.
But no over-intellectualizing. Thanks for this haibun. Stu
Oh, thanks so much, and glad you liked it. Inspired by a Mr Bill toy we bought our dog – hard to avoid when surrounded by repeated “oh no’s!”