Joshua St. Claire
Pastoral
Miles, aren’t you going to introduce me? What? Another Joshua? Ha! How droll! I’m Alexandra Baker-Charles. Absolutely charmed to meet you. This is my boyfriend, Joshua. I call him Gay Josh because he’s so handsome. No, he’s actually straight. Oh, and this is my friend, Joshua. I call him Little Josh because he’s only 5’11”. Now, he is actually gay so don’t confuse him with Gay Josh. Remember, Gay Josh is the good-looking one and Little Josh is the short one. Now, behind Gay Josh is Big Josh. He’s 6’7” and 350 pounds so it fits. Don’t worry, I’ll come up with the perfect name for you before the party is over. Miles, didn’t you say that you and this Joshua were old school chums? Miles, were you absolutely raised here? I can hardly believe it, but I simply adore that you brought us all out here to this quaint little town for this delicious little garden party. I saw an actual sheep. Can you even believe it? An actual sheep on a quaint little farm, right after we got off the highway. The Joshes and I had never seen one in real life before. Oh, and it lived in a red barn. Gay Josh, my love, have you ever seen anything so quaint before? I’ve never seen anything so quaint before. Then, we passed by an absolutely quaint little train station. Then, we saw these quaint little Victorian houses with little gardens and everything. They were absolutely delicious, like quaint little gingerbread houses. I could just eat them up! What a quaint little hamlet you’re from! I was raised in Philadelphia. Once you grow up in a true World City like that, it really changes your perspective. Right, Little Josh? Remember when we graduated and our commencement was at Independence Hall? What a night! Big Josh, remember prom at Boathouse Row? That was when Gay Josh and I fell in love—right on the banks of the mighty Delaware River. What’s it like living in a quaint little place like this? Has anything ever even happened here? Oh, what was that, Joshua? You say you grew up in a quaint log cabin, on a quaint little farm, with a quaint barn, with a quaint barn cat and your family has lived in this quaint little corner of the world since the 1700’s and you have personal knowledge that nothing has ever ever ever happened here in over 300 years! Of course! I knew it! How delicious! Oh, now, Miles, where did you find this rare specimen? I think I have the perfect name for your friend! We’ll call him Quaint Josh! Let’s all toast our mojitos to his new appellation. To our new friend, Quaint Josh!
chrysopoeia
buttercups returning again
to our old sheepfold
my mother teaches me
how to count our family gold
About the Author
Joshua St. Claire is an accountant who works as a finance executive in rural Pennsylvania. His work has been published in several journals, including contemporary haibun online, Mayfly, The Heron’s Nest, and hedgerow.