Ryan Jessup

Walking in the Dark

sometimes nowhere is there anything to hitch oneself to and we must make our way by pure balance
                                                                – Galway Kinnell

once more I wake at 3am the devil’s hour and get up to use the bathroom and drink some water and then I walk on slowly through the house and look out the living room windows into the blackness of the night to see if anyone or anything is staring back at me wanting to come in

and then I go and check on Harrison and Caroline and see that they are resting well and notice a flash of light rolling around the walls and ceiling like the light from a lighthouse but it is only a random car circling the street and heading back off into the distance

still feeling an eeriness and emptiness about things I head back to bed with Maria who is sound asleep and begin thinking to myself so this is what it is like to be laid off in midlife with a family to support trying to find my way in the dark

winter night the long absence of the moon