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William Ramsey, US

Twelve Proofs of God's Existence

After throwing out the bad ones, we find the following most plausible:

(1) He crawled out of a hole in the earth's exact center of axis and gave to the Hopis maize.

(2) Everything has a cause. Even causes have them. God caused all that.

(3) God created apes as rough drafts of us, and saved them.

(4) Ten thousand angels on a pinhead sang out, "Hallelujah!" in a theologian's hearing.

(5) Only God exists. To admire himself without conceit he created the world, which is all a big illusion, though certain petty details are repulsively graphic.

(6) Super strings of energy constitute all matter. For cat's cradles, Someone's always left holding the strings.

(7) Out of a gourd vine grew a globular shape, and from its seeds sprouted humans.

(8) God created electrons with just the right weight, so atoms would neither collapse nor fly apart—except in atomic blasts that were not in the original plans.

(9) Ten thousand fundamentalists on a pinhead sang out, "I believe!" in an angel's hearing.

(10) A water lily opens.

(11) A marsh wren sways on a reed.

(12)
the skiff's prow—
a white moth resting
as i pole

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